I hope it’s jojoba

The wall of a garage in Govanhill. It says 'bodyshop' in spray paint, I'm pretending it's a branch of the Body Shop because I'm trying to be funny....

Great to see a new branch of the Body Shop opening in Govanhill.

At last, seaweed oil aqua boost overnight serum whenever I need it, which is often.

Other vast transnational conglomerates with terrifying economic power recently based their call centres here in Glasgow.

They appreciated our soothing, approachable, non-threatening Scotch tones.

We don’t make things any more, but at least we have a weird way of talking.

Cheers British empire, rapid industrialisation followed by the wholesale destruction of manufacturing as part of the disastrous neo-liberal late twentieth century experiment.

All you’ve left us with is our distinctive accent.

It’s all so vibrant, by the way, how us locals speak.

We are so gallus, ya eejit.

Aye, the Scottish accent is sexy, isn’t it, as long as you don’t mind the alcoholism and psychosis that usually go with.

Oh look, a drunk man puking on his shoes.

Must have put that shea nourishing body butter on his pieces.

Cheers, bamboo charcoal water lotus shower gel.

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