Never had a bike when I was a kid.
Never understood the gears and levers and spokes. Manoeuvring, momentum, forward motion.
It all seemed so unattainable to me.
Tried cycling once. Kept going round in circles. Then I pulled on the brakes and went over the handlebars.
So much for momentum. Smacked my face into a tree. Never there when you need it. Broke my nose in two places. Too much when you don’t want it. I remember blood spurting out at right angles.
My byclist days are over.
I’ll be a cycler no more.
You’re better off walking anyway. You meet more crackpots that way. I’ve got feet and I’m gonna use them. Good feet, huge feet, clown feet, massive Monty Python cartoon feet squashing all before me.
Hang on, wrong story…